Shenanigans

12 Jan

Oh where to begin with my life these last few snowdays?

I went dumpster diving for a mattress, road bareback through the snow like a warrior princess in narnia, got much too drunk, slapped a hot guy across the face out of reflex for touching my feet, took my mom to the hospital for surgery & lucky me my moms anesthesiologist is my ex boyfriends dad! My mom told the nurse I couldn’t come bck & I threw a raging fit to get back there only to die. She was like “I tried to spare you dumbass”. So now I smell like dead bourbon, my legs are killing me from marching in the snow, & I will soon have a very loopy & sawed into mommy to take care of.

I need my own sitcom.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: